What the world needs

..would
be wool blend socks because pure woollen socks do tend to hole rather quickly
and the little woman darning your socks by the light of the fire late at night
is way out of fashion, not to mention totally un-PC. They do blend
wool with some exotic materials these days, such as possum fur and Alpaca wool,
(30% nylon suits me well enough), but what men like me and the befuddled Age
correspondent would really appreciate is more than just plain black in whatever
whacky blend you care to mention. I go spare looking at all the gaily coloured
cotton socks for men and wonder why the Wool Board couldn’t mandate some
freakin’ imagination of the same order for wool socks.
The big 70th birthday produced some frankly overly-generous gift cards for the
man with no discernible predilections or taste, so M and I tottered into town
on Monday, a little unwillingly it has to be said, amongst our objectives being
the purchase of some coloured or even just some patterned woollen socks for
the gentleman of the house. Because my fab gift cards don’t extend to
David Jones we went to Myer first, but as I suspected Myer and its assorted
franchises (and their assorted blaring muzak) stopped short of interesting woollen
socks, so we were forced to walk across the Bourke St Mall through a gauntlet
of buskers (I’ll return to them a little later) and walk to the back of
the Men’s store to browse through DJ’s secret men’s sock stash.
We were just about to give up there too when I discovered some interesting looking
English hosiery that fitted the bill perfectly – a fine merino and nylon
blend, both ungarishly coloured and discreetly patterned and, importantly, long
of shank – not the miserable items that barely creep past the ankle sporting
a fierce elastic band that doubles as a tourniquet. And they were on special!
O joy! O rapture! Still not cheap mind you, but I mustered up all my change
and bought five whole pairs, all different colours and patterns, and took them
home to show the sullen black sock drawer the future of Mike’s socks before
I cast them into the sock wilderness.

Of course, on the walk back to the car we had to traverse another area popular
with buskers who position themselves on the footpath on the corner of Swanston
and La Trobe streets looking up at the Victorian State Library building where
people like to meet and eat lunch on the lawns in the sunshine. The amplified
sound echoes off the surrounding buildings and so it’s quite a jumbled
cacophony that can be heard at least two blocks away.
You might think that as a musician I‘d be supportive this kind of unsolicited
public entertainment, but far from it. I regard it as an infringement of my
expectation, if not right, to wander through a public space unmolested by vagrant
sound waves, but I find there is scarcely a space in the city and its suburbs
that is free from such molestation. Call me a ruddy fuddy-duddy if you like,
but give me the music of unavoidable incidental noise, like trams screeching
and car horns honking and snatches of inane conversation and I’ll make
do with that. I don’t need the lamentable amplified musings of professional
beggars to accompany me going about my business or pleasure-seeking.

Speaking of music, I’ve been very busy over the last couple of weeks trying
to assemble some meaningful memorabilia to mark the entrance of all my back
catalogue into the digital realm. Way Out West’s Rob Rowe has been directly
involved because he’s been persuaded to put Spectrum (and Hey Gringo)
on at the Willy RSL this coming Sunday arvo and thinks it’s a good thing
to make a bit of a fuss about that and my turning an unlikely 70 years of age.
(Well, unlikely inasmuch as I still get up in public and go through the motions
of being a rock musician because, although I still enjoy the process I can’t
think of anything else I’d rather do).
Anyway, I’ve turned up some interesting and some embarrassing images which
reflect an interesting and sometimes embarrassing career. I’m old enough
not to worry so much about the embarrassing bits and I think you’ll find
a lot of them as amusing and as mystifying as I do so we’ll put them up
for display for your entertainment at the Willy RSL this Sunday and then I’ll
put a few of them up on the website. Or maybe even on Facebook – then
we’ll all be sorry..