Fashion

..adventure
couture-wise, mostly in an attempt to be the opposite of Spectrum in every respect,
but also reflecting what was going on in the pop scene at the time with the
advent of glam rock – you could say that visually at least we weren’t
all that different to Gary Glitter and Marc Bolan, both of whom we toured with
back in the mid ‘70s. Even in the second incarnation of Ariel, as seen
on the cover of the Rock & Roll Scars album, I’m still wearing
knickerbocker jeans, orange panty hose and a pirate shirt of many colours.
Lately I’ve quietened down. Tony Barber christened me The Lawnmower Man
on the LWTTT tour in 2004 due to my ultra-low-key stage gear. These days I’ve
got a shiny pink shirt that I wear occasionally and an almost matching pair
of maroon sneakers, but that’s as outrageous as I get or even aspire to.

Maria persuaded me to accompany her to the Jean Paul Gaultier show at the NGV
the other day. I didn’t realise I was a fan until I discovered he’d
designed the costumes for one of my favourite Sci Fi movies, The Fifth Element,
but even had he not I couldn’t fail to have enjoyed at least part of the
show.
The thing that struck me, as we approached an hour’s investigation of
the JPG oeuvre, was the unending imagination and wit on display. I did find
the prosaic listing of hours taken to construct a lot of the costumes unedifying,
but I also hoped the seamstresses and associated workers got some sort of recognition
for their often amazingly detailed work with some unlikely materials.
Maria pointed out that while a lot of the outfits were sensationalist and designed
to shock on the catwalk, there was a small selection of dresses that were designed
to be actually worn – at the Oscars by Cate Blanchett for instance – and while
they were obviously more muted they were impeccably conceived and executed.
Fashion’s not just clothes, of course. Fashion affects just about every
area in our lives, some which you might never have thought of as being susceptible
to fashion. For instance, what we eat is extremely susceptible to fashion. The
latest eating fad being touted is the consumption of insects and, while I’ve
got nothing against it in principle, I suspect there’s the odd qualm to
be overcome before I for one could endorse it in practice. The occasional fly
that’s buzzed into my open gob mid-song on stage hasn’t gone down
a treat, and that’s as fresh as they come.
The real reason for my balking at a diet of crunchy grasshoppers though, is
the deep-seated suspicion that because the fashion of vegetarianism hasn’t
caught on in a big way the human race is now having to put a brave face on the
fact that we’re about to run out of animals to eat.
I suppose we come back to the fallacious notion of progress. The optimists will
tell you that more people than ever before in world history are enjoying the
benefits of the middle class explosion, whereas, as a long-term member of that
class, or at least its fringes, I can tell you that there are just more and
more – and more – people, which means that there is less and less
to go round. The Chinese experiment should about seal it and our expectations
henceforth will be gently guided ever downwards, no doubt with the aid of a
big, red pointy hand and accompanied by music from Status Quo..