Author: Mike Rudd

  • Surveys

    ..my objections, and I think it’s more likely she might mention them to somebody now that I cold-heartedly aborted the call. Not that it will make the slightest difference to the quality of questionnaires in the short term. Flouting the convention of poll questions being couched in neutral language is just one of the downsides…

  • Lilydale

    that there is a world where you could travel where everything looks much the same, where there is no sense of place. Just the same experience. The perfect model is the airport where pretty much no matter where you are it is deliberately the same experience. Many travellers must wonder whether the plane merely flew…

  • I write the songs..

    ..Fiddling Fool from the Spectrum Part One album, which he’d apparently opened the first Pojama-People show three or so years ago. It’s an extreme example of a very small song idea I’d written being taken by the band and expanded exponentially over time – notwithstanding in a quite disciplined way. The result is a very…

  • Tom Brown’s Schooldays

    Dick’s Toolbox cont. ..whose pecking order was determined before we arrived, and that survived, indifferent to our presence, after the year or less that we spent there. The law of the jungle was demonstrated on the monkey bars, and the odorous boys’ toilets, that had green high water marks from incontinent seven years old trying…

  • Gin

    ..arrived in England courtesy of the English soldiers who were then campaigning in the Lowlands as part of the Thirty Years War. Gin almost became the national sport. It was estimated that every fourth house in England was a gin mill and employers provided gin as part of their pay to workers. It is alleged…

  • Larry

    Mike’s Pith & Wind cont. ..the sushi bar in the arcade and had some sushi rolls and miso soup before finally heading to the carpark and my date with the supermarket. When I got to the carpark I was astonished to find the lone busker still baying at the sullen sky, so I walked up…

  • Love is all you need..

    ‘I won’t be fooled again’, I muttered to nobody in particular, knowing full well that I will be fooled again – and again – by a relentlessly and pointlessly changing world. However, there are small victories to be had for the vigilant observer. School children don’t need to have our attention drawn to them, but…

  • The robots are coming

    ..of the words, foolproof and incapable of error……’ has come to me from every electronic device I have tried to live with culminating in the locked-down ‘we know so very, very much better than you’ world of Apple. We have become inured to the sights and sounds of assembly lines dominated by robots, one or…

  • Petty tyrannies

    ..late twenties, early thirties, dark complexion and some variation of Asian ethnicity. There’s a cheerful bespectacled Asian chap who also mans the counter and who converses with her in whatever Asian language whom I suspect could be her father, except for his entirely opposite disposition. Everything is too much trouble for this woman. I’ve tried…

  • The Cat’s Bar

    ..the resting of containers and consumed beer by glass – or in New Zealand by the jug. I can still remember a bar in Sydney with white tiles on the floor and sawdust on the floor for the same reason as abattoirs had them – it made it much easier to hose the blood and…

  • The Bill

    Which is all very well when this surveillance is being supervised by a force as benign and reassuring as the cast of The Bill, but what happens when the slightly darker cast of, say, Spooks is in control? It seems to me there’s an awful lot of trust involved here, because it appears that all…

  • Meandering in Translation

    Dick’s Toolbox cont. .. Finnish or Urdu for a moment longer. Not only that, their TV, books, magazines and newspapers are all in a foreign language. And whilst the canon of English literature is vast and strewn with masterpieces, such as Peyton Place and Harry Potter, we only really know the literature of other languages…

  • Waiting

    .. advised me there might be a good twenty minute wait as there were a few patients ahead of me. Indeed there were, but it was actually over an hour later that I was finally called into the surgery. In the meantime I’d read The Australian (thoroughly), sent elaborate texts to various people, written an…

  • Word of the week

    ..taciturn demeanour would be interpreted today as at least pathologically reserved, if not downright stand-offish. His behaviour even seems a little odd in the context of the era, but perhaps because I missed some of the early series I’ve also missed the rationale for the apparent chip on his shoulder. I wasn’t alive then, despite…

  • Shattered illusions

    ..incisors eventually surrendered. I could tell the difference between linoleum and the Italian tiles that they tried to imitate without needing to resort to a hammer and chisel. In the film ‘Stagecoach’ when the Indian fell amongst the team of horses, went under the stagecoach , caught the axle and climbed back onto the swaying…

  • Standing in the shadow

    ..Enza Pantano’s voice supplementing the usual Bill and myself singing and playing nylon-string guitars. Serendipitously, one of the songs he discovered was one I thought that I’d lost for good in the transition from analogue to digital called Recycle Your Love. Every now and then I come across a reference to it but the musical…

  • The end of the men

    I’ve mentioned the ABC TV show Big Ideas before. I tend to record the various episodes on IQ and review them at my leisure. There’s no particular theme to Big Ideas and I can easily be put off viewing a particular episode just by scanning the synopsis, but sometimes the description is so inscrutable that…

  • The art of overwriting

    ..also was invited by landed gentry and aristocracy into the country houses of Central Europe.’ These days he is a relatively unknown figure, but during WWII he pulled off one of the more extraordinary stunts of the conflict. It was made into a passable film with an entirely miscast Dirk Bogarde, but achieved true immortality…

  • Remembering Bill

    For Bill, portraits were an occupational hazard and a source of income; workmanlike, but oddly at variance with his other work, i.e. landscapes largely empty of people. Had he painted only portraits he would have been a very minor footnote in New Zealand art, but fortunately he spent nearly fifty years defining the landscape of…

  • Time and time again..

    ..a glass of water. But after a few kilometres of uphill a rest was definitely called for so we glided in with all the grace of our combined one hundred and thirty-two years could muster. Which was limited. So there we sat outside on the sunny veranda, two OMILs (Old Men In Lycra), Doug with…