Underpants

Mike’s
Pith & Wind cont.
.. under my breath, I eventually opted for XL, and then spent another five minutes
trying to find a Bonds’ five pack in the right size. I eventually found
a pack of gaily-coloured XL cotton hipsters down the back of the L rack. By
this stage I just wanted to get out of there, and was almost relieved when the
check out chick could muster so little enthusiasm for the transaction she nearly
passed out with boredom.
When I got home, I gathered together my old, almost transparent undies and consigned
them lovingly to the ragbag, and then put the jaunty new models in my underpants
and thick woollen socks drawer. The next morning I pulled out the first pair
of new underpants that came to hand and put them on. Odd, they don’t seem
to be very comfortable – a bit too cutaway perhaps? Oh well, I’ll
just wear them a bit lower on the hips I suppose..
It wasn’t till this morning when I pulled out the canary yellow ones that
I bothered looking at the label. Bloody hell! These aren’t XL! In fact,
now that I look at them, they aren’t even blokes’ undies! No wonder
I was so uncomfortable yesterday!
As it turned out, the other three pairs were the right size and gender, but
it seems that this kind of skulduggery goes on a fair bit at Target –
or so the woman in the exchange booth told me. Nasty, malicious underpants elves
go around Target’s underpants departments late at night and stuff odd
undies in five packs, tape them up again and put them down the back of the racks
for underpants illiterates like me to unwittingly stumble upon.
I found a new five pack in the right size and went back to the exchange booth,
and even though you could tell this pack hadn’t been interfered with,
we did an idiot check anyway – just in case.