Issue 71

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..as my Latin teacher for the last two excruciating years of Latin – and so I found it expedient, if not absolutely necessary to become a conniving plagiarist rather than bear the brunt of Harry’s ire or, God help me, actually do some serious study. It was in my last year of Latin when I…

.. expand its floor space) can be an exercise in angst and frustration as you sift through the many variations available in every conceivable item. Should you buy this version of raspberry jam because it’s an Australian brand? Or is it just packaged here while the fruit is actually from Korea? Or is some of…

..and make the final report up. “Totally clear apart and medically sound apart from some wreckage from the Lusitania” Given that, prior to this procedure I have been taking peculiar and powerful drinks whose only role in life is to turn the one and a half metres of my colon into a pristine wasteland by…

..& roll and proudly wearing my legendary brothel creepers (made in Australia). There was a dance on at the local hall. They had a Maori band playing who could play anything and they were pretty good I thought. They must’ve had a talent quest segment because I found myself up on stage and the band…