TV

..those
console models with doors that you opened when the family gathered around for
the evening’s entertainment, and then discreetly closed again when the
TV station went off the air at 11 o’clock, so that the unsightly TV screen
was hidden from decent people’s view the next day and all you saw was
a rather large and mysterious piece of furniture.
From the first moment I saw TV I was hooked. It was as well that we didn’t
own a set till my schooling was nearly over; otherwise I’d be at school
still, with a faraway look in my eyes and whistling The Gormans under
my breath.
I recall seeing Stan Freberg in concert in Christchurch in the mid-fifties.
It was Stan that anticipated we’d soon be as tired of TV as he was, with
his hit calypso spoof, Tele-Ve-Shun.
Tele-Ve-Shun, Tele-Ve-Shun
I’m a sick of looking on Tele-Ve-Shun
I got weak in the eyes
Weak in the head likewise
From sitting and looking on a Tele-Ve-Shun
The only joke I remember from the show related to the advent of stereo radio
(probably FM, but I don’t recall if he used that term). There was a well-loved
radio serial at the time that I as a sickly lad had listened to quite a lot
from my sick bed, called Portia Faces Life. Stan quipped that in stereo,
Portia would be facing you. (I liked Stan’s satirical bent –
I must check out what’s available from his massive output). I was a sucker
for radio, so I guess that I was a natural for TV, and if anything, my addiction
has grown worse over the years.
Not long after my wife died in the late nineties, a salesman for cable TV showed
up at my place. He didn’t need to ask twice – I signed on immediately.
It was the TV coverage of the rugby that Foxtel promised, or more specifically
for the rugby challenged, the rugby union, that transformed an expensive
luxury into an expensive necessity. I am a Kiwi afterall.
TV’s most often the best way to see rugby anyway. Most grounds, in the
southern states are designed for cricket and the AFL, and the intimacy the crowd
gets with a purpose made rectangular ground is lost – a classic example
is the Bledisloe Cup at the MCG, where there are massive crowds, but no atmosphere.
(The smaller Phone Dome is an exception – I thoroughly enjoyed seeing
a day of rugby there at the sevens’ tournament during the recent Commonwealth
Games).
Cable TV hasn’t let me down by and large, and the add-on of the World
Movies channel has been a cultural plus. Mind you, there are a number of channels,
a large number of channels, that are a complete waste of space, from
which you would correctly deduce that Foxtel’s packaging leaves an awful
lot to be desired. Still, as a confirmed TV addict, I’m of the opinion
that if you can’t find anything worth watching on yer forty or so channels,
you’re not really trying.