Issue 73

..(Maybe that accounts for my neighbours breaking into fits of sniggering whenever they see me). It turned out that I’d cracked my left foot a mighty whack on the side board, but there was nothing much else worth reporting. My foot was sore enough, but it was obviously not broken, so I counted myself lucky….

.. tastes embrace the elegant and refined, she still prides herself on being able to spot a bargain. Understandably she’s been hassling me for quite a while about the medieval trackie pants and a few weeks ago she spotted some bargain trackies coming up in Aldi. Aldi. Aldi was unknown to me before she and…

..are carried away by the northerly wind that bends the trees; the sand is now too hot to walk on in bare feet unless one adopts the hot-foot walk of a Namibian lizard; canvas is cracking in the wind and the horizon has upside down mirages of the container ships queuing to pass through the…

Mike’s Pith & Wind cont. Fortunately, the musty halls of every single-sex (male) secondary educational institution that ever was, haunted as they inevitably are by variously amusing and resentful, but universally misogynist masters, taught us impressionable acne-faced boys that we could exact a subtle, but satisfying revenge on womankind, employing the very weapon our mothers…

Bill’s Twang cont. This one’s tuned to open E (e-b-e-g#-b-e). Anyway, I can hear the nurse calling me. It’s time for my medicine. Come along to a gig and talk down-tuning. If you need help or lessons, you can contact me through the website’s Contact Us link.

.. in any case, I was on modest stipend (a bursary) that I was contracted to repay by becoming a teacher after graduating. In fact, now that I mention it, ambition is another area I’ve always been deficient in, so you put that together with a lack of vision and you might begin to understand…